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Feel Good Inside and Out.
My Blog
Blog
Neuroplasticity and Hypnosis
Posted on February 18, 2018 at 6:00 AM |
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Neuroplasticity is the
brains ability to rewire itself. The brain can change or alter
connections at any time to create physical, psychological or
emotional healing. Under hypnosis, the brain can be directed to make
those changes taking away the huge effort it requires to consciously
change ingrained habits and behaviours. The unconscious mind has 2
jobs. To move us away from pain and towards pleasure and to make life
as easy as possible. To make life easy, it quickly learns new habits
and behaviours that we adopt and once we have repeated an action a
few times, it starts running that action on automatic pilot. This is
great news when we are learning a skill such as driving, but it is
not great news if we are repeating behaviours or thought patterns
that are not healthy for us. This is why willpower does
not work. We use willpower to start a new healthy behaviour but
before we know it, we are right back to where we started. That is
because willpower is using our conscious mind to over-ride our
unconscious mind. Our unconscious mind runs on automatic pilot so to
consciously try and over-ride that is exhausting. The best way to
make change at an unconscious level is to direct the unconscious mind
to behave in a way that is more healthy for us, thereby making change
with ease and without effort. This can be done through hypnosis. |
Emotions are Signposts
Posted on March 5, 2014 at 10:24 AM |
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We often
view our emotions as something to endure or avoid if they are negative, or
something to enjoy if they are positive.
We think that our emotions are created by events or circumstances in our
external world. This leaves us often
feeling powerless because we cannot effectively control the world and the
people around us. This is a very
stressful form of existence. However, our belief that our emotions are created
by our surrounding circumstances is untrue.
It is an illusion. All of our emotions are created
internally by our thoughts. It is not our circumstances that create
our emotional state from moment to moment; it is our perception and judgement about
our circumstances that cause us either pain or pleasure. Let me give you an example. Imagine a dog sitting in the middle of the
road. One person walks past the dog and
thinks ‘awwww how cute!’. This person
feels good because their thought about the dog is one of love and
appreciation. Someone else may walk past
the same dog and think ‘Oh crikey, that dog isn’t on a lead. I hope it doesn’t come anywhere near
me’. Now this person has had a fearful
thought so their experience of looking at the same dog has created the negative
emotion of fear. The dog is exactly the
same, but the experiences of the two people in this example are polar
opposites. This is because it is not the
dog (external circumstances) causing the emotions in question, it is the perception and judgement of the individual that is causing the emotional reaction. This is
good news because this means we are actually in full control of our emotional
state at any given moment. I know you
will probably find this confusing because we have all been led to believe that
we are annoyed because our partner doesn’t give us enough attention. Or we feel guilty because we ate that big
cream cake earlier. These events in
themselves do not create emotions within us.
Our perception of these
events causes the emotions. This is
important because when we are in a negative emotional state, we are more likely
to react in a negative way, thereby causing further stress. Take the example of thinking your partner is
not giving you enough attention. This
could lead you to think that your
partner does not care for you as much as they used to. This could then lead you to feel fear (what will I do if they leave
me?). It could lead you to feel isolated (I feel all alone because
they are not paying attention to me).
These negative feelings (caused by negative thoughts) then lead you to
take negative action. You may snap at
your partner and accuse them of neglecting you.
You may decide to try and get attention from someone else outside of the
relationship. Any number of negative
reactions is possible. Now look at another
way of dealing with the same situation.
You observe that your partner has not been very attentive to you
recently. You accept what is without
judgement. You observe your own negative thoughts, learn from them and then, let
them go. You observe the negative energy
running through your body and you let go again.
You smile because this event has taught you a bit more about yourself
and your insecurities. Once you can
observe your own ego at work, and observe your own emotional response, you tend
not to take things so personally. You
can then think about how best to deal with your partners’ inattentiveness. From this standpoint, you will feel much more
empowered and are much more likely to take authentic action rather than melting
down into an emotional puddle. From this
position of strength you may decide to approach your partner and ask them if
everything is ok. You may say that you
have noticed they are a bit unavailable at the moment and you were wondering if
there was anything you could do to help.
Was there anything bothering them?
Your partner may then explain that they have been very busy at work
recently and apologise to you. The worst
case scenario may happen where your partner tells you that they are no longer
happy in the relationship. You may then
go on to discuss why your partner is not happy and you may be able to resolve
the issue or you may not. All I am
trying to demonstrate here is that when you act from emotional clarity you are
far more likely to resolve any situation you face without causing further
negative ripples. According
to Gary Zukav in his book The Heart of the Soul, negative emotions are
experienced when energy is leaving the body in fear and doubt and positive
emotions are experienced when energy is leaving the body in love and
trust. So we could view our emotions as
signposts. We could view our emotions as
important information telling us about the quality of our thoughts at any given
moment. When we can observe ourselves in this way, it really does take the edge
off the pain of our negative emotions and it empowers us to at least reach for
a more positive emotional state. |
Life Lessons (My Story)
Posted on September 4, 2013 at 11:24 AM |
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This story highlights the impact that just
one limiting belief can have on your quality of life. I was pregnant and eager to be the best
Mother I could be. I really wanted to
stay at home with my daughter and be a full time Mother, but finances at the time
would not permit so I had no choice. I returned to work feeling totally
stressed. The stress I felt at this time could have been hugely diminished if I
had just changed my perspective at that time.
LIFE LESSON! You can be a good Mother and work! My belief at that time was that being a
good Mother meant staying at home.
Because I couldn’t stay at home, I was constantly stressed because I
felt I wasn’t being a good Mother. Because
I was stressed I was constantly tense and anxious which made me tired and it
robbed me of my usual sense of playfulness and fun. So in essence, my faulty belief had more of
an impact on my daughter through my own behaviour than life circumstances. Instead of having a vibrant, playful Mother
most of the time, she had a tense and anxious Mother. Children learn what they live, so this would
have impacted my daughters sense of peace. The opposite of my intention! As my daughter reached school age, my
limiting beliefs continued. By this time
I was also pregnant with my second daughter.
I then went on to have a son. My stress levels chipped away at my energy
as I continued to cling tirelessly to my limiting beliefs. The catalyst for change happened when I found
myself sitting at my desk at work two days after my Mother died having not
slept for four days. I knew I had to
change my life but I had no idea where to start. So, lesson number 1. To give to those around you, you need to be
full yourself. You can’t give what you
don’t have. If you think of your emotional wellbeing as a bank account, in
order to take emotional investments out of the account to give to those around
you, you have to have something in there or you will be overdrawn. Being in the
red will cause you stress. To keep your
emotional bank full you need to constantly nourish yourself. Do this by regularly taking time to do things
that you really enjoy. It is not selfish
to put yourself first and look after yourself.
In fact it is really beneficial to those around you because if your
energy body is vibrating at a high frequency (which it does when you are happy)
your energy will automatically raise the frequency of the energy of those
around you. So basically you can make
people feel better just by being around them! Life lesson no 2 If you are regularly experiencing negative
emotions, you are operating from a limiting belief. Our natural state of being is to be vibrant,
happy and inspired for most of the time.
If you are not experiencing this state of wellbeing, you are limiting
yourself in some way through your beliefs.
To uncover limiting beliefs, look at an area of your life that is
causing you stress. To demonstrate this
we can use my definition of being a good Mother as an example. I believed that being a good Mother meant
being at home with my children and not working.
Because I had to work, this caused me debilitating pain. So, let’s unpick this belief. Is it true for everyone that being at home
with your children means you are a good Mother?
No, obviously not. So therefore
it is not true. It is not a universal
truth, it was just my truth. So how
could I change my truth? I could think
of the opposite of this belief which would be ‘good Mothers work and stay at
home’. I could then go on to think of
ways to create a good environment for my children, which incorporated me
working. Had I had sufficient self
awareness at the start of my journey towards Motherhood, I could have saved
myself years of stress, anxiety and self recrimination which would also have
benefited my children greatly.
Uncovering and challenging limiting beliefs can be difficult because to
you they are the truth. Keep an open
mind when doing this and be persistent. Life lesson no 3 External events do not create our pain, it
is our interpretation of those events that create our reaction. We will often look at the events and
circumstances of our lives and judge them as good or bad. Depending on our judgment of the situation,
we will then feel good or bad. We can
therefore change our emotional response because we can change our judgement. I could have changed my judgement at any time
with regard to my beliefs about being a working Mother. This would have given me immediate relief and
would also have actually made me a better Mother! I do understand that some
events in life are tragic and sad. One
such event for me was my Mothers illness and death. No matter which way I framed this event, it
would still be sad, but I could learn from it.
This event prompted me to learn about health and disease by studying
Homeopathic Medicine. Whatever pain you
are faced with, you can make meaning out of it.
Don’t let your suffering be in vain! Life lesson no 4 Support those around you to fulfil their
dreams but make sure you also fulfil your own.
We all have a unique skill set and purpose in this world and it is our
obligation to uncover our strengths and passions and use them. Our society at times seems to encourage us to
constantly work on our weaknesses instead of developing our strengths. Find your strengths and indulge in your
passions. That is what you were born to
do. Life lesson no 5 Use your emotions as a compass. As I stated before, if you are feeling
negative for any length of time, this means you are not aligned with your true
self and are operating from a limiting belief.
Also, if you are familiar with the law of attraction, negative emotion
is a signal to you that you are not creating what you want. Emotions are the
best compass we have to find our way to our authentic selves. Instead of getting lost in your emotions,
stand back and think of your emotions as a means of communication. Your emotions are telling you what is working
for you and what needs to change. Be
grateful to them for that. All the above life lessons (and many more)
helped me to change my life one step at a time.
I started college (at weekends) to learn about Homeopathic Medicine. I
realised I had a real interest in human behaviour so I studied numerous mind
therapies and psychological coaching. You will also be pleased to know that despite
my anxieties about my parenting, all my children have grown up to be productive
stable members of society and they are all doing well. I now help people overcome emotional,
physical and psychological pain by using Homeopathic Medicine and Psychological
Coaching. I have made meaning out of my
suffering! |
Your Path to Emotional Freedom
Posted on April 3, 2012 at 11:12 AM |
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What you Believe you PerceiveYour Path to Emotional Freedom
To uncover a limiting belief, all you need to do is to look at an area of your life that is not working for you. Contrary to popular belief, the circumstances of our lives are a direct reflection of our inner world. Our beliefs absolutely create our reality. Now at first glance you may think this is really bad news. You may be thinking that not only do you have areas in your life that you find challenging, but now you are being told that it’s your fault! Well, please keep reading because this is actually very good news. It is not about blame but rather about responsibility. Think about it this way. If you can take responsibility for the circumstances of your life (or how you view them) then that means you have complete control over your experience from moment to moment. How empowering is that? What is a belief? A belief is a personal truth. An idea we have formed about the world around us that has become a certainty. These beliefs colour and even create our day to day experience. Just to give you an example of the profound effect a belief can have on your life, just imagine you are a woman and you believe all men are liars and cheats. How would this impact on any romantic relationship you had? Would you be able to create a close and loving relationship with a man? It’s very doubtful isn’t it? Why is a belief so powerful? To answer this question we must look at the mind and how it works. We have two minds, our conscious mind and our unconscious mind. The conscious mind is obviously the mind we are aware of. It is our conscious awareness. Our unconscious mind is exactly that. It is the part of our mind that we are unaware of, however, the unconscious mind is a very powerful driving force. If you think for a moment about learning a new skill like driving. At first it feels really difficult to do. You have to remember to look at the road signs, watch out for other vehicles, change gear at the appropriate time etc. This, at first, seems very confusing and overwhelming to the learner driver. However, over time and with practice (repetition) it becomes easier. You no longer have to consciously think about changing gear, or looking in your mirror. It just happens automatically. This is because through repetition, the unconscious mind has learned to take over the role of driving, leaving your conscious mind free to deal with other items of importance. Your conscious mind is only capable of dealing with between 7 and 9 items at any one time, which is why we hand over as much material as possible to our unconscious mind to deal with. Our unconscious mind is huge and has recorded in it every detail of every event we have experienced in our lives. It uses these events, or rather, our interpretation of these events to keep us safe. The unconscious mind cannot determine right from wrong and cannot determine a real event from an imagined event. It is like a giant recorder. It records events together with our interpretation of those events then treats our interpretation as the truth. This is a very important fact, which we need to understand when we are dealing with any human behaviour. It is great when our unconscious mind is fully aligned with our conscious intent, but when we consciously wish to create more fulfilling and positive life experiences and our unconscious mind has previous recordings that go against our current desires, we are driven to keep experiencing the same life challenges but we can’t understand why. The good news is, you can uncover and change any unconscious programming that is stopping you from achieving your goals. Now, looking again at how these parts of our mind work. The unconscious mind believes what the conscious mind tells it without question. The more times the unconscious mind is told something, the more rigid it becomes in its interpretation. Also, from the information the unconscious mind receives from the conscious mind, it determines what information is important to bring to our conscious awareness. If you think about it, we are constantly bombarded with information in any given moment. There may be people talking to us, we may be surrounded by furniture or street signs. There are huge amounts of sensory stimuli, what we see, smell, feel and hear. In any given moment we are surrounded by about one million pieces of information, but most of it is of no relevance. Because we couldn’t cope with this amount of information in each and every moment, the unconscious mind deletes all the information it deems to be unimportant. This protects us from going into complete meltdown. How does the unconscious mind know what is important to us? This is the crux of the matter. The unconscious mind chooses what to bring to our conscious awareness from the information it has been given from the conscious mind in the past. This is where our power to change lies. Imagine that you believe once again that all men are liars and cheats. Your unconscious mind would then delete any and all information to the contrary, so any information that would challenge that belief would never reach your conscious awareness. From this you will see that through your belief that all men are liars and cheats, you have created a world where all men are in fact liars and cheats. In order to make positive change in your life, you must be prepared to challenge each and every belief you have that does not serve your best interests. How do you change a belief? First you must uncover the beliefs that are keeping you stuck. To do this, look at any area of your life that is not working perfectly. Lets say for example you constantly work long hours and this has an impact on your social life and relationships. What is the belief that drives that behaviour? Do you believe you have to work hard for a living? Or do you believe you have to work hard to gain other peoples approval? Once you uncover the belief/s that are not creating the life you want, you can start changing them. This may feel uncomfortable at first because to you, your beliefs are true. This is why you need to open your mind and challenge them. The best way to do this is to look at your limiting belief and think of its opposite. So if you think you have to work hard for a living, you could say to yourself ‘I find work easy and enjoyable’. You may wonder how this will change your belief. Remember our unconscious mind believes everything the conscious mind tells it, especially with repetition. So, if you keep repeating this statement to yourself, your unconscious mind will start bringing to your attention anything that supports this new belief thereby slowly reinforcing it until that becomes your reality. To further quicken and reinforce this process, you can imagine in detail what it would be like to find work easy and enjoyable. Imagine what your day would be like, how great it would feel, what kind of things would you be doing? Imagine all the energy you would have. This is a great way of creating the life you want because your unconscious mind cannot determine what is real or imagined, so if you imagine your life to be just the way you want it, your unconscious mind will, I guarantee you, support you fully on your journey to create the life of your dreams. Try it and see. Write your post here. |
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